Growing Up

Growing up is no fun. I know your parents warn you about that when you're little, but until it actually starts happening, you don't believe them. My own epiphany came as I was heading home today for Easter weekend. This summer, I will not come back to live at home. I will stay up at school to do research in the summer. And it suddenly hit me that I may never, truly live at my childhood home again. And that, my friends, is truly terrifying.

I have spent my life, as I'm sure most people have, waiting in anticipation for the next "maturity marker" to arrive. I was anxious for my 13th birthday to arrive, to finally be a teenager. I wished for my 15th birthday, so I could finally learn to drive. I needed my 16th birthday to come, so I could drive by myself and achieve more freedom. My 18th birthday could not come soon enough, so I could graduate and vote and finally be considered an adult. And even now, I'm just waiting to graduate college so I can move on to the next step. Why?

Because society has taught us that something is always better in the future, that the future will bring something new and exciting. This may be true, but the future also brings uncertainty and responsibility. It may bring loneliness, it may bring heartache. It brings trials and tribulation, because we are expected to grow up and out and learn to be independent. It can be a beautiful thing, but it is not always an easy thing. It means leaving things behind. It means change. But it also means learning, it also means growth.

But we don't have to grow up quickly. We don't even have to grow up completely. You can always have those days when you return home, have your mom help you with your laundry, wake up to your dad making crepes for your breakfast. You can go shopping with your mom, play games with your dad, see movies with your family, have your parents pay for things. The difference between childhood and growing up is having the choice to be independent. Sometimes we make the choice for ourselves, and other times life will make the choice. But it will always be there. Until next time...